I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
