My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
