Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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