Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
