nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
