ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
