i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
