A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
