walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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