dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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