I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
