Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
