Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
