Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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