dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
