I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
