He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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