who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
