Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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