SEEEEXXX PLEASE
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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