.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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