brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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