Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
