your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
