There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize