no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
