she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
