I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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