is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
