Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
