Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think I am morally bankrupt
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
