Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
