sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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