hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
