the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
