I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
