I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
