I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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