I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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