Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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