alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
