planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
