ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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