Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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