Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just googled if crying burns calories
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Randomize
