I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
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