I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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