you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
