just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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