Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
thus making me awesome and them whores
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
