help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
