there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
